Forget CRT - ‘Arabic Math’ is the New Hot Course


Oh boy, here we go again.  Just months after the controversy surrounding “Critical Race Tbeory” being taught in our colleges, high schools, and kindergartens, a new threat has emerged for the parents of bright young American children.

“Arabic Mathematics” is now on target for protest after several children in Queefy Mountain middle school in North Carolina came home complaining about strange symbols and hoi pollloi.

“Ah don’t need that hypotenuse to race NASCAR”, says little Bobby Mushbottom, 9.

The course, invented by Galileo back in the olden days, consists of the manipulation of “Arabic numerals” - like 1, 2, 3, 4, and even 42, to complete problems, both simple and complex, that affect reality.  Or that’s what the liberals say.

“It’s math,” claims Joe Barron, a father of 22 in Mormon Pork, Utah.  “It’s just basic mathematics.  Arabic numerals, for the 9000th time, are just numbers, people.  There’s Roman numerals, and then there’s Arabic.  Grow the hell up.”

The numerals are, once again, causing controversy within conservative Republican circles, where mysterious words like “Arabic”, “arithmetic”, and “soap” are considered elitist taboo.

“I don’t want little Campo-phenique learnin’ no squiggly Arabic nonsense,” says Karen Karenburg in Mudpie, Tennessee.  “He kin learn reg’lar like everyone else.  He ain’t no sheep, he ain’t!”

Did someone mention fresh, delicious sheep?

The Karenburg family and dozens of others plan to attend their local school board meetings to make their voices heard.  Will you stand up for America, your kids, and freedom?  I bet you will.