Baldwin Blasts Co-Star : ‘You’ll Never Work Again!’


Jason Lee.  Jon Erik-Hexum.  And now, Alec Baldwin.  What do these three actors all have in common?  All three of them were, and are, disgusted by the horror of licorice.

All of them were also big in the 80’s, which many don’t remember because cocaine.

But curiously, all three also had terrible and tragic consequences to deal with after monkeying with a “prop” gun on the sets of their acting stages.  For both Lee and Hexum, those consequences were fatal.  For Baldwin, they were deadly for someone else.

Halna Hutchens, the 42-year old assistant director of the motion picture “Rust” was blasted by Baldwin this last Thursday when he was handed an actual loaded pistol instead of a prop.  The director was also injured.   Baldwin told Producer Joe Barron that he knew the weapon was “hot.”

“I looked at her face, her dopey pear-shaped face, and I had heard all manner of nonsense from that deep tooth-hole previously about Trump, and vaccines and what not.  So when they yelled ‘action’, I popped her.  That’s it.  Totally innocent.”

“She’ll never work in THIS town again.”

A chilling and hysterical statement from the star of “The Shadow.”  But is it totally accurate?  Topless entertainer and spokesperson for the organization B.A.K.E., “Butterballs Accidentally Killing Entertainers”, Sandy Batt, says the blasting was fairly cut-and-dry.

“Baldwin did this completely accidentally. I mean, what would you do, if you were an actor, and somebody gave you a loaded gun?  Shoot your co-workers, right?  I mean, it’s pretty simple.  Lay those bastards down like Chippendales on Melania’s bedroom carpet.  Blam. Problems solved.”

Sean Spicer added : “Gawd, let’s all just go BLOWING! Woo hoo!”

Conservative Republicans on Facebook message boards are going five-alarm dickcheese over the incident, blaming “liberal policies” on the deaths and calling for murder charges and a death sentence for the actor.  However, it’s key to remember that conservative republicans on Facebook aren’t exactly gigantic brain heads, are they?  No.  Not at all.