Biden Impeachment Gains Support of Nine Senators


Led by supersenator Ted Cruz, Joe Biden’s impeachment proceedings have gained the support of nine more senators this week, buoyed by the sheer incompetence of the President.  The house remains a deeply and bitterly divided body on the issue.

Cruz also vehemently supports wiping side to side.

Impeachment paperwork was initially drafted by Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene after a six-night quelude and fentynol bender that took place earlier last year after a massive “dildorama” event that included bananas and florescent light bulb tubing.

MTG’s idea gained quick traction in the Senate, with preliminary signers-on impressed with the crayon cartoon asides in the margins and sprinkles on the purple ribbon closure.

Senator Sandy Batt, a Republican representing the state of Euphoria, says that everything in the papers is appealing to her.

“She’s operating under the impression that a commanding attitude and cognizant political strategy is a crime, and is therefore acting on it.  There’s also the tired conspiracy nonsense about Ukraine that no one can seem to explain, as well as nepotism, which is downright laughable after Trump.”

The list of new gains in the Senate include Senator Toot-Toot McGuffin of West Virginia, Ohio’s Senator Mushy Tushy, and Nebraska’s own Phil Collins.

Senator Baghead McPisscup is still undecided.

As support grows, hearings to convene the event grow ever closer in the new year.  It certainly sounds like President Biden has some hot sauce coming for his 2022 burrito.