Broncos Fire John Elway For Not Allowing His Players To Kneel

John Elway, the legendary quarterback turned coach turned Vice President and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has been fired.

After a career spanning more than four decades with the team, Elway was let go by the team’s Board of Directors of Executive Operations. While they weren’t obligated to give him a reason, he was told that his unwillingness to allow players to kneel played a huge role.

Elway’s Spokesman for Football Operations said his dismissal was retribution for being too conservative:

“Ever since they legalized the canabis here, things have gone downhill. They can’t even test the players anymore to keep the black guys in check. Now the woke crowd is canceling the greatest director of football operations ever to operation a football.”

Elway has since fired that spokesman and released his own statement, condemning the team for discrimination and his former spokesman for lacking basic common sense:

“I blame Joe Biden and his Woke Brigade for today’s actions. By not allowing me to have full control over my players, I will no longer be able to feel superior in every way. It’s an insult to people in charge all over the place. Also, that last guy was a moron.”

Elway was escorted from the building by the league’s first trans security guard, Melissa.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 171 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.