FDIC Forces Saturday Night Live to ‘Cease and Desist’ While They Investigate

President Trump wanted to have Saturday Night Live investigated, but he had to find the right division of his Executive Branch to use against them. According to Rudy Giuliani’s spokesman, Art Tubolls:

“Mr. Giuliani has given the President several options. The Senate ethics committee could have shut them down to investigate whether or not partisan politics is being hidden in satire. Apparently there are lots of things that can be hidden in satire.

The other options were to do with banking, the public trust, and possibly just taking the studio by eminent domain. Then Mr. Giuliani discovered that the FDIC has to be sure that every dollar they insure fits the anti-discrimination laws in US Code Title 41, Section 23. New York City is otherwise uninsurable because of the unsolvable security risks, so the FDIC insures the whole of Rockefeller Center.”

The FDIC will now take 4-6 weeks to investigate the network for discriminating against President Trump in its broadcasts. If the FDIC decides they have, the show will either be canceled — or their insurance will. Without insurance, nobody is legally allowed to enter a building in New York.

So as of now, just as he said, President Trump has effectively shut down Saturday Night Live. the end of their season will be reruns, and if they know what’s good for them, they’ll be reruns without the Trump segments from drunky Alec Baldwin.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 171 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.