With Parents Away, Barron Trump Throws Bitchin’ Kegger


With the President and First Lady all kickin’ it Idris Elba style in Whitesville, Barron Trump has turned Mar-a-Lago into the most trippin’-ass party scene since Kid and Play knocked out their pajama jammy-jam.  Believe it when I tell you, the place is hella live with boatin’, booty, and bangin’ bud.

“Is that ‘Jungle Love?’ THAT IS MY JAM!”

Son, if you never seen a golden bathtub full of molly, beds shaped like big ass Kardashian badonks, and, I’m serious bitches, a full-on live kangaroo for ridin’, you best get your cracka self down here like some Malcolm X muthafu*ka, you know?  “By any means necessary.”

Man, I don’t know when this boy’s old man is coming back, but I can tell you he finna sh*t hisself when he see what G-Killah Pimp did to that Bentley.  That little ho Maqueesha just about lit up mostly everything in the upstairs bedroom, yo.  She always been one of those pyros.  And hell, half these little maids and penguin guys run off like they got snappers at they asses, and the other half all drunk and cryin’ at each other about gettin’ fired.  Lol!

Couple cans of paint, a few pieces of wood. My cousin Jasper can fix this for like 200 bucks. Relax.

That kid all quiet and sh*t at school, but hell, he way nasty when he wanna be.