California Introduces ‘Sanctuary Workplaces’ for Undocumented Aliens


In a lush ceremony in San Francisco’s Palace of Fine Arts this afternoon, Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law a bill providing deportation-safe workplaces for undocumented aliens residing in the state of California.  The measure is intended to ease pressure on local businesses and grow the workforce.

“Hector”, a cook in a California restaurant, prepares lunch for a white woman he will no doubt impregnate.

The measure forbids immigration services from raiding places of business and sets up a system in which tax revenues from the workers are distributed to infrastructure and green initiatives.  If that sounds like socialism to YOU, well then, pat yourself on the head and give yourself a handshake, Skippy.  Governor Newsom :

“We in California always bring about the changes that flood through the rest of the country.   I’m confident that the results of this measure will spread, with illegals finally being accepted in places like Kentucky, Texas, and Pennsylvania.  Get used to it.”

“Did you just fall in love with my picture? That’s okay. Happens a lot.”

President Trump is reportedly looking into blocking the plan before it truly begins, but is somewhat distracted with infighting, his upcoming impeachment, and trying to figure out how a pencil sharpener works.