Joe Manchin Officially Joins Republican Party


74-year old Senator Joe Manchin has finally had enough.  Enough of the constant “Build Back Better” pressure he’s been getting inundated with since the birth of President Joe Biden’s bill.

According to Political Queefblasting magazine this morning, Senator Manchin has officially filed the paperwork necessary to change his party affiliation from Democratic to Republican.  By 2022, he will be caucusing red.

           Not “arsoning”, Joe, “caucusing.”

Manchin has been noticeably uncomfortable in his seat ever since Biden first drafted the bill, and has made no bones about disagreeing with it.  According to interviewer Joe Barron from the National Blumpkin, the former governor had much to say about his choice and why.

“The other Senators don’t understand that I need things for West Virginia, and the rest of the country can go to hell.  And the price tag is way too high just for keeping our countrymen alive and well.”

“I’m sick of the plastic wrap over the Senate toilet seats, okay?  I’m tired of having my telephone put into a jello mold.  Yesterday someone put a paper sign with a dick on it on my back.  That’s just childish.  I want to be on the side that gets kickbacks and can be freely racist and horrible.”

Although “racist” and “horrible” are both words describing drummer Phil Collins, they are also core components of the Republican party platform.   It sounds like Mr. Manchin is ready to fit right in.  Le Chiam!