Federal Judge Orders Nancy Pelosi Into AA Meetings: ‘Enough is Enough’

Sources inside the Capitol are leaking some very crucial information. Very few people know it, but the Capitol Police detain and put members of Congress and their aides before a judge all the time. In the East wing on the 3rd floor right next to the mural of Washington taking Valley Forge, Judge Melvin Triptentine hears cases specific to misdemeanors by federal employees.

After her 14th appearance in court, Nancy Pelosi finally pushed her luck too far. Our source tells us that she will attend mandatory Alcoholics Anonymous meetings — right in the Capitol. There are two different meeting, one for those with dual or multiple addictions and one for just drunks. Pelosi is said to be mandated to the meeting specifically for drunks.

According to the official group spokesperson, who chose to remain anonymous, Nancy is in goods hands and will see true recovery now that she’s come back to God:

“Nancy needs to get herself away from those California hippie parties where people are drinking too much and taking the pot. A few weeks of discovering that talking about your problems to complete strangers who aren’t supposed to talk about it to other complete strangers is an eye-opening experience.”

Pelosi will attend the morning meeting every day, which begins just after the House breaks for pastries and Ilhan Omar’s new morning Call to Prayer. Other members of the group include the Vice President, several Senators and Congressmen, a Supreme Court Justice and Chief of Staff Leo McGarry.

Hopefully, she finds the help she needs.

About Flagg Eagleton 19 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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