Nurses Across the Country Will Take a Break in Protest Today

Nurses are well-known for their antics. While doctors work feverishly to keep their patients clean, comfortable, and as healthy as possible, nurses are known to spend their days hidden behind desks, in break rooms, and sometimes even empty patient rooms, lollygagging about and wasting a bunch of time.

In fact, some sources say that lazy nurses aren’t just a problem, they are THE problem with American health care. Us Representative Maureen “Karen” Walsh explains:

“If they didn’t spend so much time on break they’d get more done and costs would go down. It really is that simple.”

Karen was placed under a microscope after demanding to speak to the manager over the lazy habits of nurses. Our independent investigation found that as it turns out, she is probably right. Nurses, it would seem, don’t just play cards at work, they also do a fair share of filming adult “entertainment.” A search of popular internet pornography sites turned up more than a million examples of nurses acting inappropriately at work.

What’s worse? Sometimes they don’t even wake the patient.

So today, out of protest, nurses across the country have decided they will all take a special break at 2 PM in a show of solidarity. The break won’t replace one of their other 14 scheduled breaks or their lunch. According to a nurse we encountered, “doctors will just have to cover for us while we’re out.”

Doctors are used to it, slackers.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 171 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.