Rittenhouse and Sandmann Join Forces To Form National College Fraternity ‘Just for Patriots’

Kyle Rittenhouse and Nick Sandmann have a few things in common. They’re both up-and-comers with bright futures. They’ve both got huge lawsuits against the liberal media, and they both got snubbed when they tried to go to college.

Oh, sure. They could get in. That’s not the issue. The issue is that when they get there, they face a barrage of insults, stalking, protests, and whiny little babies who will never leave them alone. Until now.

There are a lot of patriotic kids who would love to go to college but don’t dare because they fear they won’t have a place. Now, Sandmann and Rittenhouse have changed all that, with a new national fraternity “just for patriot.”

Since starting an actual “fraternity” on a college campus takes a boatload of time, money, and lobbying, the pair has opted for an off-campus “club” of sorts that will be open to male college students looking to Make America Great Again.

The Conservative United National Trust Society has given the new organization their blessing, and has vowed to step in with any university requiring the new group needs a sponsor.

Since the fraternity will be off-campus, they’ll enjoy some things a typical fraternity can not. For example, members will be able to have their guns with them at home, which they can’t do on a liberal campus.

Parties, which are heavily regulated by campus security, will be watched over by the local police, who will pull up to see Gadsden flags and the thin blue line. That also means there will be no “safety stations” or free rides for young women who go out to taunt men with their sexuality.

It’s everything a conservative fraternity could possibly ask for, without all the hassle of being on campus. Rittenhouse says they won’t be using Greek letters or Arabic numerals. The fraternity will simply be named “USA.”

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 171 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.