Rittenhouse Settles With CNN, The Washington Post for $26.5 Million

Details of the sealed case between CNN, the Washington Post, and Kyle Rittenhouse has been leaked through backchannels to Patriot Media. While the exact terms are unclear, word is that Kyle Rittenhouse will enjoy the same $26.5 million payout as Nick Sandmann, the “punchable face” kid from Covington Catholic.

The settlement, which neither CNN or WAPO will confirm, was reported on CNN earlier without an amount. We reached out to the network for comment, but they don’t like us very much.

Kyle Rittenhouse’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, says there will most likely be a non-disclosure agreement signed when the settlement is finalized so the public doesn’t see the $26.5 million figure:

“That would probably be pretty embarrassing for them. When the Sandmann settlement was leaked, CNN’s stock lost more than 128% overnight. Their shareholders all had to write company a check to keep it afloat.

“Hopefully, they can stay in business for the next time we sue them.”

Legal analysts say Kyle has no fewer than 37 reasons to sue both outlets, in 49 states. To not settle would be silly.

At this point, the question just remains…how much? The reported $26.5 million hasn’t been reported yet, so it’s impossible to confirm, though our sources say they have confirmed it.

The long and short, patriots, is that these people are learning that you can’t say mean things about Kyle Rittenhouse and get away with it. Just ask the View.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 171 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.