Ross Perot Left $100 Million to the Trump 2020 Campaign

Ross Perot was born in the desert with no shoes on his feet. From there, he made himself into one of the most powerful men in America. A man — some say — who would have been President had he played the 1992 election differently. That man is returning to that desert, to be with Jesus for eternity, but not before doing one more thing for his country.

Ross Perot’s will explicitly instructs his 11 children to donate $9 million each to the Trump 2020 campaign. All 11 of them, Billy, Bobby, Lou, Kieth, Brenda, Gwen, Danny, Linda, Barb, Mary, Lorraine, and Joe, agreed immediately. The funds will be transferred by the end of the day tomorrow.

Perot’s family says he was an avid Trump supporter and wanted the Trump agenda to move forward. His spokesman for the past 37 years, Art Tubolls, told us that Mr. Perot was aligned with the President’s ideals:

“Ross was an opportunist, so when he saw the death of Democracy happening, he immediately backed Trump. In the end, should society break down, it’s going to take a lot of money and power to keep the peace. Trump has some, sure, but families like the Perots will prosper in the New World Order.”

Oh that Ross. Always playing with those hinky conspiracy theories. He knew that Trump was a true American and good for America. Rumor has it that it was Perot who came up with “Drain the Swamp.” His most famous quote, after all, is, “If you see a snake, kill it – don’t appoint a committee on snakes.”

That’s great advice. Thank you for everything you did for America, Mr. Perot.

About Flagg Eagleton 19 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

4 Comments

    • This is a Satire website. He didn’t have 11 children, he had 5. He wasn’t born in the desert and his son had given $10K to his campaign so yeah, the part about $9M per child is also satire.

Leave a Reply