Biden Pardons Cosby


Greetings everyone, Fallis Gunnington here.  You might know me from such articles as “AOC To Ban Motorcycles”, the one about the all black reboot of “I Love Lucy”, and most recently, probably a large percentage the of the nonsense you’ve read before this.

One of our other authors, Craven Moorhead, who, in his spare time, drives a truck and teaches polka dancing.

I’ve finally got a new job.  It’s okay.  It’s different, but, you know, what did I expect? I’m getting used to It, and frankly, it feels good to be up and moving again, excersizing, actually feeling tired when I get home.  Anyway.  I have 2 days off now, and I heard they’re releasing Bill Cosby from prison on a technicality on the radio on the way home.

I figured this one would be a no-brainer.  The headline will do all the work.  Trumpers don’t actually read the rest.  If you’re a fan of Trump, and you’re reading this right now, congratulations, I hereby deem you smart enough to operate a doorknob.  Keep it up.  Only twelve more steps until you can maybe buy a phone that doesn’t flip open.

We very much miss Joe Barron and Sandy Batt and Trish Blake.  That’s why we put one of them in every article.  So that, in a small way, they’ll live forever as inspiration.

The pages haven’t been doing well this year so far because Facebook regularly screws not only us, but all politically-adjacent groups and sites.  They intentionally kill our reach or their algorithms ding us, even though we do our best to follow their rules.  Is it that hard to find the more than a dozen instances on the page where we tell you nothing here is true and is all satire?

As the pages become less popular, we all, one by one, will sadly become Shia LaBouf.

At any rate, enough with the wah wah.  I’m almost at the minimum 300 words I need for an article.  We’ve done it again, true believers.  Biden went ahead and pardoned Bill Cosby.  Holy sheep dip.  You heard it here first.

And likely again, when it gets reposted to one of the other pages.  What the hell.  We’re not out yet.

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