New Pelosi Bill Will Lower Voting Age to 16

DON'T LIKE WHEN WE DO IT, DO YOU?

There was a lot of controversy surrounding the results of the 2020 election, all of it produced, in essence, by one man.  Donald Trump.

The former President described the election as “rigged” and full of voter fraud, even though not a single shred of evidence proves any existed.  Predictably, his throng of cult members simply accepted the diagnosis and point to grainy YouTube videos, laughable math manipulation, and, at one point, Chinese paper shipped through Venezuela, to salve their constant butthurt at being told that the United States as a whole, rejected their failed policies and idiotic fantasies.

Allegedly, this photo shows two women using witchcraft to alter ballots. It has been debunked by Hogwarts.

The glut of inanity has led Republicans nationwide to brazenly attempt to change voting laws in order to give themselves an advantage in the future.  But Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi won’t stand for that.

Pelosi’s new HB 2112 stands to alter the 26th amendment to allow voting at the age of 16.  Joe Barron, the Speaker’s personal ice cream scooper, told the Washington Patriot Queef what the impetus behind the fictional bill amounted to.

“Democrats own the young vote, which, finally, after decades, decided to show up in 2020 to get rid of the embarrassment of Trump.  Conservative voters are overwhelmingly older and have ‘no skin in the game’, so to speak, when it comes to the future of the country.”

“Pelosi’s bill will even out the attempt by this cult movement to skew the vote.  For every 90-year old voting to destroy health care and kill the poor and brown, there will be a high-schooler with years ahead of him or her, to vote sensibly.”

Conservative pundits on the usual Fox and Newsmax networks have predictably exploded, fearing millions of write-in ballots for “The Imagine Dragons” and “Loki.”

Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl has already announced plans to run for Secretary of Power Chords.

Sixteen year-old Melissa Southard of Oregon sees this as a great opportunity for hers, and other voices to finally be heard.

“Soon we’ll have free watermelon Mountain Dew in water fountains and transgender child care in schools!  The future of America is us.  And don’t you trumptards forget it.”