Trump Drops Mexican Tariffs After Starring in Tijuana Donkey Show

SEE? HE'S NOT RACIST!

President Trump this week, after a long and controversial push to levy tariffs on Mexican imports, dropped the idea publicly after Senate Republicans revolted, farm unions protested, and the President was invited to participate in a “donkey show” at the Cacahuate Blanca bar in Tijuana, Mexico.

A nearby bar, already booked from dusk until dawn, promised the President a far better experience for a future visit.

Mexican President “Amlo” dropped the invitation over a phone call between the two leaders in which tariffs were being discussed.  Mr. Trump brought up the subject of prostitutes, in the event of a foreign trip to the capital city, and the conversation took a ribald turn to the Mexican donkey show tradition.  On Sunday evening, President Trump and a small detail of secret service agents arrived at the establishment where the President was penetrated dozens of times by a three-year old roan donkey named : “Santo Pepino.”

Journalist Sean Hannity described the pack animal as : “A great American.”

Experts are mixed on whether or not the donkey’s minstartions led to the easing of the tariffs completely, but spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders, also in attendance, described a : “jovial atmosphere” :

“I think it really brought him closer to something he’d been craving for awhile.  It was a real asswakening. “

As a fascinating side-note, Sanders has never had sexual relations with a man who wasn’t crying.

 

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