Bolton Book : ‘Melania Desperate to Leave Him’


John Bolton is steadily proving himself to be one of the most controversial figures of the Trump administration as more and more snippets of supposed inside information begin to trickle out from the release of his new book : “The Room Where it Happened”. The latest claim is that first lady Melania Trump is trapped in a world of misery, and despite all appearances, can hardly wait to get away from her husband Donald, whom the book contends, she absolutely can’t stand to be near.

The same relationship Kid Rock has with soap.

Although members of the administration and the usual assortment of disreputable talking heads have taken to outlets like Fox News to downplay the more treasonous charges and very realistic depictions of Trump being possibly, the stupidest and most schizophrenic mistake to ever shit in the White House toilet, Sandy Batt, a personal friend and confidant of Mrs. Trump confirmed the accusations.

“Oh, she absolutely hates that blob of hideous whale snot.  She’s physically just disgusted by him, by his morbidly obese sack of rancid oatmeal body and his constant piss stink.  She calls him ‘President Pimpledick’ when she talks about him in private, and hasn’t been in the same room with him in ages.  Barron hates him too.  You know what he gave him for Father’s Day?  A tie.  Know what it was made out of?  Noose rope and poison oak.  Yeah, Bolton’s book is dead on.  It’s just far too specific to be made up.”

“Omigod, I can TOTALLY spin all that. It all happened in that little kid’s snow globe on ‘St. Elsewhere’.”

It is true that Mrs. Trump hasn’t been seen in public with her husband in nearly a year, and during many forced accompaniments has appeared rather disheveled and grumpy.  When the controversial tell-all reaches the shelves, it’s sure to find one certain audience - divorce lawyers.


Be the first to comment