Reboot of ‘My Three Sons’ To Star Jussie Smolett

Everything old is new again, they say, and thanks to Netflix and a deal between Barack Obama’s production company and NBC studios, televisions second-longest running sitcom will soon be returning to the small screen, albeit in an updated and more accessible manner.

The classic comedy series will get a glossy new look, thanks to a million dollar budget and the star power of Empire’s veteran actor Jussie Smolett, who will play the starring role as widower Steve Douglas, struggling to raise his three boys on his own.  The role was formerly filled by stiff and crusty white man, Fred MacMurray, who probably made your grandpa laugh while he yanked on the antennas of a black-and-white Zenith television while riding a horse and masturbating to a flapper.

In the updated version, Douglas is a struggling rap star trying to raise his three kids in a Black Lives Matter safe house run by “Papa Ebony”, portrayed by television newcomer Wesley Snipes.  Douglas and his sons face challenges like racist and overzealous police officers, unequal justice and employment systems, and systematic poverty.  Joe Barron, Netflix’s Head of Heading Departments says it’s a recipe for both laughter and learning.

“I think it’s really a fun idea to torture conservative trumptard boomers by taking one of their beloved lily-white shows and making it their worst racist nightmare.  Netflix really has a lot of money, and their association with President Obama really frightens these people.  I mean, they don’t watch - they can barely click the Facebook icon, let alone stream Stranger Things.  But they’ll have to hear all about it from their grandkids, who are forced to visit them a couple of times a year.  I think the show will really be good for pacemaker and kaopectate sales.”

Netflix plans to have the first season wrapped up by the end of the year, and has already greenlit the second.  I guess for Jussie Smolett, second chances come with three adorable gangsta kids.