After First Hearing, 8 Republican Senators Back Impeachment


The public hearings began today to provide Americans with testimony and cause to impeach President Donald Trump for abusing the power of his position.  While Devin Nunes pushed back against witness claims that the President attempted to bribe the Ukranian President in order to have fabricated scandals invented about his possible political opponent Joe Biden, overwhelming and collaborating testimony seems to have ruled the day.

“Please don’t ask me if I blew him please don’t ask me if I blew him please don’t ask me if I blew him…”

In a poll of the Senate body following the hearing, canvassers found that 8 Republican Senators are now willing to join their Democratic counterparts to support full impeachment and removal of the portly pontificating President.  The unfortunately named Mike Crapo of Idaho is one of them, and gave a statement to the Washington Queefspress:

“I’m just sick of pretending.  Pretending I believe anything out of his mouth, pretending he knows what he’s doing, pretending I even like or respect him.  He’s a joke.  We all know this.  We just don’t want to lose the votes of the old gullible space cases who drool over him.  Well, no more.  Let’s just get this idiot gone and deal with the consequences.”

I wonder if I can have that delicious young male intern fumigate the oval before I move in.

Impeachment at this point would require the votes of 20 Republican senators, so a one-day start of 8 is significant.  The 2020 election may instead see Trump either tossing a salad in a prison shower or pouring Slurpees at the next Marvel movie premiere at the mall.  It looks like the impeachment clock is approaching High…Nunes.

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