Biden To Be Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

UNBELIEVABLE!

Oslo lit up with celebration yesterday, as the current winners of the Nobel Prize were announced, and by far, the greatest cheers were for former Senator, Vice President, and 2020 candidate Joe Biden, who will be receiving the coveted award for his work to bring a better standard of human rights and democracy to the Ukraine.

By contrast, President Trump once took sixth place in the Space Ghost Coast to Coast Haiku Writing Contest. The first place winner is currently incarcerated for animal sodomy.

Topmost on the list of accolades is Biden’s key role in the ousting of corrupt Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin, which provided the embattled region with a better ability to stand up to Russian aggression.  Biden’s son Hunter was also named in the announcement, praised for his nobility for quitting his job at a Ukranian petroleum company upon finding out it too was corrupt.

Even though a thorough investigation has found no criminal activity involving the Bidens, President Trump has recently attempted to cover the sordid details of his own and his upcoming expulsion from office through impeachment by incredulous means : sending his Attorney General to foreign countries to seek out imaginary evidence ; inventing obviously simplistic scandals that any kindergartener could see through ; prodding others in the party to go along with it all.

Many experts agree that Trump lies even more than Lindsey Graham watching a straight porno and pretending he’s into it.

It’s clear that the President is upset that he’s being caught in his web of high crimes and misdemeanors while Mr. Biden is still a completely clean contender for his job in 2020.  The question is will both Obama and Biden possessing a Nobel Prize that he won’t even come close to cause his head to physically sink down through his body and pop out of his ass?  We’ll keep you posted.

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