If you thought that by now you’ve seen the last of the lunacy that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the socialist senorita of the Democratic Congress can generate, it’s time to make an appointment at Lenscrafters, because you’re gonna want to focus in on this one.
Friday, as an open session of Congress concluded, an announcement was read that the legislative body would not meet again until Tuesday in observance of Veteran’s Day on Monday. Looking quizzically up from her microphone and snapping a mouthful of strawberry Hubba Bubba, the littlest lawmaker piped up :
“Wait…veterans have their whole own day? Like, just for themselves?”
Her statement was greeted with a combination of blank stares and the sympathetic faces that you’d expect to see for a mother who’s baby just tore off it’s diaper and farted on top of a dinner table. A doting Chuck Schumer assured her that there indeed existed a national holiday to honor our cherished heroes of the military, and that it was to be observed on Monday. The former bartending bunny responded by blowing a big gum bubble, rolling her eyes, and sighing :
“Oh. So I can take off Monday and hang out at the mall? Totes sexy.”
You can’t make this stuff up folks. Or can you? I mean, I can. Conservatives love to gullibly accept the narrative that because she’s young, she’s stupid, when AOC’s IQ, in reality, is probably higher than Trump’s, McConnel’s, and goddamn Mike “closet case” Pence’s combined. But they’ll swallow it. They always do. Because in addition to being hideously stupid, they’re misogynists too. Luckily they’re steadily becoming irrelevant. Like desperately blabbering old men at the end of a bar wishing someone would listen to them.