Biden Pardons All Antifa At The Capitol On January 6th

In yet another partisan move that shows just how desperate the Democrats are to re-write the January 6th narrative, Joe Biden has pardoned “any and all Antifa members who may have been at the Capitol Riots on January 6th.”

The pardon, signed in secret and not reported to the press, covers anyone who can prove they were just there to “sell dumb Trumpsters shit” or “video those idiots in their natural environments.”\

So far, two people have used the pardon. Sandy Batt, a college student selling misspelled “Trump Wun” shirts, says she doesn’t really give a flying fuck about Trump or Antifa:

“These fools are putting me through college one piece of Trump crap at a time. I hope they never go away.”

Another man says he made enough money to fix his credit and buy a house selling outrageous stories to dumbass, ignorant potatoes, and he regrets none of it:

“They’ll believe anything, and they click ads like there’s no tomorrow. People wonder why Zuckerberg protects them. They’re eGold. That’s why.”

I think we’re supposed to be insulted, patriots, but I say if that guy was smart enough to monetize making shit up, more power to him. Matter of fact, I do believe it might be worth 75 million votes. Or so.

God bless America.

 

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 140 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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