Facebook Grants ‘Permanent Safe’ Status to Thousands of Dem Pages

In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a new Facebook on the block.  And if you’re an outspoken conservative or a booster of our President, Donald Trump, it’s not a Facebook you can count on.

The recent update to Facebook’s terms of service and “moral judgement algorithms”, or MJA’s, is an eye-opening statement on the social network’s attitudes towards “free speech”.  While in the past few months, thousands of pages dedicated to the President, his support groups like Q-anon and the white power movement, and iconic thinkers like Diamond and Silk and Micheal Savage have been taken down for supposed “hate speech” or “inaccurate and dangerous spam”, not a single Dem site has experienced any manner of harassment.

Now we know why, as Facebook’s Director of Directions, Joe Barron, admitted during an interview for Boomers Trapped in Slippery Bathtubs magazine.  The new update grants a permanent “non-interference” status to pages considered “liberal” or “necessary to Democratic themes.”

“With the newest update, these MJA’s perform a dual-function.  Using keywords and phrases, they automatically search through pages and separate Conservative garbage pages from more liberal and left-leaning pages grounded in reality.  Facebook takes seriously it’s responsibility to eliminate bullshit that Trumptards swallow, as well the constant flow of the Trump crowd’s racist and ignorant mentally ill babble.  That  crap goes immediately.  However, Democratic pages, which in general are geared for users having higher IQ’s and based in reason, have been granted permanent amnesty from any further action.  I’d like to clear this up - this isn’t about pushing any politics on anyone - it’s about not encouraging dipshits to vote for a ridiculous incompetent moron or run into pizza parlors with shotguns.  It’s about keeping America safe.”

So far, around 9000 left-leaning pages have received the Blessing of the Zuck.  I guess we’ll just have to get used to dealing with seeing a lot of posts by Occupy Democrats and keep our mouths shut about all of Obama’s gay chemtrail guns.