Church of Latter Day Saints Endorses Joe Biden

THIS IS DOWNRIGHT NUTTY!

When Joeseph Smith unearthed the sacred buried plates and repopularized the kinda-sorta teachings of Christ for the modern age, many men and women had faith that his vision of an America united under the embrace of Heavenly Father was a great one.  But now, after yesterday’s bold announcement of the Church’s support for Joe Biden for President in 2020, some are balking at the religion’s choice.

Many believe entertainer Marie Osmond is a Mormon, when in fact, she is a Morwoman.

One of Utah’s biggest LDS church leaders, Wife Supreme Sandy Batt, told the Salt Lake City Queeflight that the decision is less a political one, and more a vision of self-preservation for the flock.

“The one universal truth among our people of faith, is that life is precious and the work of the Church of Latter Day Saints must always continue and move forward.  Unfortunately, none of that credo is applicable to the example of President Trump, who thrives on and brags about death and ignorance.  We can’t even have a Pepsi, and we see this.  He touts policies that will push the country backwards and is PROUD of that.  His botching of the Covid pandemic has cost thousands of American lives, many within the arms of our churches.  This, we cannot abide.  We wish Donald Trump and his three sister wives, (four, if you count Ivanka), all the blessings that can be bestowed upon him.  But our support goes to Joe Biden.  Just to actually remain alive in the future.  Amen.”

The LDS church, also known as “Mormons”, boasts nearly seven million members in the United States alone.  That’s a large voting bloc that the impeached President will be losing this year, an alarming threat to his election chances after he successfully alienated women, minorities, LGBTQ citizens, and just about everyone except white elderly males.

AND one of those isn’t even the guy from “Up”. Someone looks like he needs a visit from Chuckles the Clown.

Membership of the Church crosses political lines, boasting both Republicans like Mitt Romney, and Democrats like Harry Reid.  But with an election this important looming, it looks like all the Big Love is going to Joe Biden.