Pelosi To Attend Mueller Testimony With Impeachment Lawyers


Tomorrow begins the testimony before Congress of Special Investigator Robert Mueller to publicly explain the findings of his controversial report. Did Russia interfere with an American election to benefit President Trump?  Did the President obstruct justice nearly a dozen times to prevent knowledge of his crimes coming to light?  Did the entire movie : “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” take place in Cameron’s imagination, using Ferris as a symbol for the beloved figure that he only wished to be?  The answer to all of these questions will be answered tomorrow except that last one.

“He has a girlfriend…understanding parents…leads a parade to applause…I’m just wrecking this goddamn car.”

And now, according to the Washington Daily Queefpost, Speaker Nancy Pelosi will be in attendance at the event with a half-dozen “impeachment lawyers”, attorneys specializing in the process of Presidential impeachment.  It looks like Nancy is pretty confident the testimony will be damning to Trump.  Or, maybe she’s drunk.

Lead Impeachment Prosecutor Denny Crane of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt spoke to the Queefpost earlier today :

“Speaker Pelosi would like us to closely observe and parse every part of the testimony for any and all impeachable offenses.  We are ready to go at a moment’s notice.  I mean, I’ve read the material already, and Trump is dirtier than Kim Kardashian’s underpants.  I’m betting we’ll be sending someone with handcuffs to the White House in the first ten minutes.”

Ten minutes is also the amount of time a Joe Biden rally lasts before someone in the audience requires smelling salts.

Although Pelosi has claimed that she is not seeking to impeach at this time, she has been known to change her mind at the drop of a Jack Daniel’s bottle.  It’s like she’s the Ed Mooney to the President’s Ferris.  And in this movie, Mr. Bueller might get rightfully expelled.

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