Judge in Epstein Case Found Dead of Apparent Suicide

UH OH!

The small apartment on Washington’s Batt Street served as a temporary office for Judge Harry P. Schuter, 62, who had been specially selected by federal investigators to officiate the case of accused sex-crime perpetrator and pimp to dozens of secret famous figures Jeffrey Epstein.  Today, it’s a scene of police tape, CSI investigators, and a family left mourning.  Schuter’s body was found this morning by a cleaning lady.

Preliminary police theory is that the judge committed suicide by firearm, although the cleaner, Alice Frumpkin, tells a different story :

“There was eh…otra persona…other person who come to door.  Wear hat.  Blue pantsuit.  Si.  I no see face, but after, very loud BANG BANG!  I tell policia, but they say maybe I buracho.  Drunk.  I no buracho.  Only little bit.”

“And now…with that little bit of business done, it’s time to finally shed this human shell and DESTROY THIS WORLD!”

Police on the scene refused questions about the witness and a few others hearing two gunshots, dismissing them as “uninformed teabagger nonsense.”

Also missing from the scene, a small black spiral-bound notebook with Deadpool on the cover, rumored to hold the complete list of Epstein’s clients.   Suspicious activity is written all over this.  More to follow.

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