Clinton Lost in Hi-Tech Accident, Feared Digitized

HOLY FRAK!

Olympic diving champion.  Heroin addict.  Scientologist.  President of the United States.  Hillary Clinton has been only one of these things.  Today, that list may be one thing bigger, and that thing is : “likely digitized”.

At least she went out with a stylish hair ribbon.

During a tour of Silicon Valley startup EMCOM, Clinton was meandering in the control room when witnesses say she may have activated a system terminal, believing that it could provide her anonymous access to a cache of hidden emails stored in a secret cloud bank.  Unfortunately, her snooping may have activated the security algorithms within the Master Control Program.  Lead tech support agent Kevin Flynn explained :

“What I believe happened, is that Mrs. Clinton was digitized and downloaded into the system by the MCP.  What happens now depends on whether or not she is able to contact the Tron sub-routine to defeat Sark and escape. It’s not going to be easy.  I hope she can drive a lightcycle.”

Experts are not hopeful that the former Secretary of State will be able to escape her predicament.  Authorities were blocked in attempts to send aid by a stand-down order given by President Trump.  The irony abounds.

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