63% of Voters Under 30 Believe ‘Trump Failed in Benghazi’

In the world that the Milennial generation is inheriting, the internet and the airwaves are filled with dubious sources of information.  The younger crowd can’t just sit in front of the television at six O’clock and get an accurate news report from seasoned professionals like we did, or open up a local newspaper for a real story based on real events.  Nowadays, one has to be shrewd and intelligent enough to wade through biased cable news networks focused only on profit, corporate-owned print media, and Facebook pages full of amateurishly-written so-called “satire”, aimed at making the gullible elderly look like the easily-fooled trump-supporting dimwits that they are.

According to recent surveys done by the Sandy Batt Institute for Getting Those Kids Off My Damn Lawn, a staggering 63% of registered voters under the age of 30 believe that President Trump bungled the terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya, even though he was not President at the time.  As we all know, the horrifying murderous event occurred during the reign of George W. Bush, who, until today’s example of incompentence, was formerly the worst President of all time.

Despite this fictional statistic, this fictional article will strangely serve as a super-meta example of the fact that the younger generation is much better at critical thinking and will be able to identify, say, a satirical article with sixteen overall disclaimers, while their older counterparts will simply read the headline and barf up a Campbell’s mushroom soup-sodden hairball.

Another point of interest is that the lumbering blumpkin zombies who paw along in Trump’s wake like shit-covered barnacles can’t seem to get over Benghazi, even after they’ve been shown time and time again that the fault was, if anyone’s, the republicans who voted down an increase in embassy security.  Yet still these nightmarishly stupid pinheads warble about “voting red.”  It’s like watching thousands of grandparents live through the ending of Flowers for Algernon.

We’re just going to have to trust our own instincts to determine which is worse - cable networks purporting to be “news” interviewing nobodies and calling them experts?  Or satirical social media pages who don’t hide their purpose and highlight rampant stupidity?  Who can truly say?