Remake of ‘Casablanca’ to Star Idris Elba, Oprah


It certainly looks like Hollywood has really run out of original ideas.  The newest feature in a string of remakes of old and classic movies will reach theaters in May of 2020, and it’s a doozy.  Warner Brothers has already begun filming a new, more diverse version of the smash hit “Casablanca”.

Starring in the role originally filled by Clark Gable will be award-winning fan-favorite actor Idris Elba, who is black.  As the female lead, the studio snapped up megastar Oprah Winfrey, also black.  It certainly seems like an enterprise guaranteed to explode the heads and bowels of the typical racist trumpbagging boomers.  Executive producer Jose Barronoffski shed some light on the film :

“I think the only real flaw in the original was that it was white people, white people, white people.  That gets boring.  Plus, it’s a different America now that needs more diverse entertainment.  I think it’s going to be a wonderful update, better than the classic.  We even have Ice Cube and Drake collaborating on the soundtrack.  It’s going to be tight.”

Tighter than Lindsey Graham watching Cirque De Solei. lo

The studio has budgeted millions for the media blitz to precede the feature starting in February, except in the state of Kentucky, where it’s commonplace for the citizens to view movies as fancy-pants fireworks.

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