One thing about Speaker Nancy Pelosi. She’s always thinking ahead. That detail became blatantly true this afternoon when, at a fundraiser for sea turtles endangered by climate change, the Speaker told a crowd of San Francisco’s most well to-do donors that : “After Trump and Pence are impeached, I will accept the office of the President of the United States.” Oh, but it didn’t stop there.
Pelosi made no bones about her hefty political ambitions. Awash in a room of wealthy supporters and ginned up on Jameson’s, she went on to describe an, evidently, long thought-out agenda :
“On day one, that idiotic wall comes down. We’ll sell it for scrap and add it to the budget. Then, everything that criminal psychopath Trump put into motion, I will end like it never happened. In fact, I’ll wipe every government document of his very name. Then I’m changing the national anthem to “Livin’ On a Prayer”, and gutting social security to pay for green initiatives. This will be a New America. A better America. Better. Stronger. Faster. Hic.”
The mostly liberal crowd applauded her speech frantically and offered tributes to Pelosi, who resumed the event atop a specially-made throne with her initials carved into it. Showered with gifts of new Birkenstocks, DVD boxed sets of “The Daily Show”, and collector’s tins of pumpkin-spiced latte mix, the maybe-soon-Commandress-in-Chief regarded her loyal subjects with aplomb, her mighty eyes slitted as she dreamed of the sweet anarchy to come.