Trump Signs Order To Return Public Bathrooms to Normalcy

FINALLY!

*President Donald Trump has done more to help America than the last thirty Presidents combined.  That’s a fact that liberals and leftists don’t like to hear.  Finding and eliminating all the damage done by his predecessor, Barack Obama, has been a lofty goal and obsession.  Well, he’s done it again with his latest executive order number 5150, also known as the “Better Bathroom Behavior” command.

The BBB will address a problem that doesn’t actually exist, and which no President, let alone Obama, was responsible for.  What it confirms is the pathetic truth that conservatives and the xenophobic, obnoxious, and thankfully dying, supporters of Donald Trump can’t handle change and want their own bigotry against the LGBTQ crowd to become commonplace like an infection of stupid.

“Now they sayin’ I got an infection. I thought you said that new sheep was clean.”

No doubt the trumptarded tardarmy of backwards illiterate tooth-decay enthusiasts will assume that this fictional order will stop allowing “men in public restrooms next to their daughters”, which only happens in their own demented heads.  These throwbacks to knuckle-haired cavemen are always convinced that their trans and homo phobias are somehow righteous, and that anyone who dares to live comfortably in their own skin is “Satanic.”  Meanwhile, statistically, it’s straight white older males that are most often caught and convicted for sexual crimes.  You know, like Trump, who is basically, Satan’s blueprint for a cult leader.

Although John Legend is slowly creeping up there. Keep singing along, mortals.

Joe Barron of the Restroom Security Squad explained that an executive order isn’t even strictly law, let alone one scribbled by a halfwit morbidly obese mental defective with failing hair plugs.  Try as he might, the official explains, Trump will never crawl out from under the shadow of a President like Obama, who was far superior in every way.  But it’s a certainty that he’ll continue to try, using scary fairy tales and racist tropes to wean votes and money from his dipshitted followers before they die.  Although this entire article isn’t true and is satirical, wait a month.  There’s a good chance that shitbag Trump will live up to it.

*impeached