Six Police Precincts To Close This Month After ‘Defunding’


There has been a lot of controversy recently regarding several high-profile police shootings, mainly of people of color who had been unarmed and the subjects of police brutality.  Holding murderous officers trusted with our safety, like Derek Chauvin, accountable, is becoming a priority in the United States.

The peeception is that a large part of the problem is the over-arming of police forces.  After draw-down procedures following the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, military equipment was sold off cheaply to departments whose budgets had also swelled from Republican authored legislation.

Yeah, probably not going to need the hovercraft in downtown Minneapolis.

Joe Barron of the Queeferland Police Academy in Kidney Stone, Alabama, says that these same Republicans are now running on the loaded catchphrase “defunding” for their usual scare tactics.

“The usual talking heads on all the channels for dimwits make it out to be that stations will be closed, anarchy will rule, and sheep will be scared, when really, what it means is removing the heavy artillery that these forces don’t need.”

“Another point, which teabaggers can’t seem to get through their heads is that police are there to de-escalate and arrest, if necessary.  Not impose the death sentence for jaywalking.  If you can’t handle the job, don’t take it.”

The new round of “defunding”, of course, is completely fictional, but when has that ever stopped any schizophrenic Trumptard from swallowing anything they see on the internet and losing their shit over It? These are people who believe Obama made a fake birth certificate before there were computers and color printers, after all.

The fictional precincts scheduled to be completely shut down and converted into dildo factories include Chuckletits station in New Jersey, Ohio’s 5th Chicken raper district, and the one in Mutant Gene, Kentucky, where all officers weigh over 300 pounds.  That’s a lot of deadly force that won’t be on the streets of America when we need it.

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