California City Bans OJ, Trump, Joker Halloween Costumes


Halloween : A night full of mischief and merriment, colorful costumes and children with buckets full of candy.  It’s the ultimate expression of American freedom, charity, and imagination.  Well, that is unless you live in the city of Oprah Grove, California.  They’ve decided that a few costumes are “too disturbing to the mental health of the children and community.”  Those being O.J. Simpson, the newly-stylized Joker, and, insultingly enough, President Donald Trump.

The city is allowing the popular “Melania Piggyback” costume.

The small suburban locale sits just below Oakland, and, unsurprisingly, boasts a population of over 11,000 registered Democratic voters, with only 3 Republicans, all of whom are over the age of 80 and live inside a shuttered Blockbuster video store, huddling together for warmth.

In previous years, city leaders have banned other disguises deemed “inappropriate”, including Adolf Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer, and any member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but many find adding, in particular, the President’s visage to this list of infamy.  We asked city planner and child psychologist Sandra Batterly to explain :

“I think it’s fairly obvious that Donald Trump is a terrifying figure to kids, and is far too disturbing to have represented during an otherwise jovial holiday.  I mean, he is known for putting children into cages until they die.  I’m sorry, but Oprahs Grove will have nothing to do with that monster.  He’s not our President.”

The hamlet is also home to the world’s only Jill Stein fan club.

As the season grows ever closer, stores in the area have reported upticks in Nancy Pelosi costumes as well as Democratic candidate Kamala Harris, and comic book character “Deadpool”. It’s certainly a sad day in America when a murderous wise-cracking mercenary outranks our Commander in Chief in the eyes of the young.

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