If you’ve been following the mainstream media lately, you’ve probably heard a lot about impeachment and Giuliani and Turkey and the Kurds and the Joker movie, which was okay, but the Joker is naturally better when his origin isn’t known, and he’s not really portrayed as a criminal genius that could do anything from the previous movies. What you didn’t hear is that President Trump lost 5 court cases last week, and one of them was his infamous “travel ban”, seeking to halt migration of people from more, shall we say, Alladin-y countries. That’s thanks to Sharia lawyer Mahumad bin Sum Sum al Fanta Alabomu Bernstein.
Bernstein has been in the practice of Sharia law for over 20 years, and has been called “The Legal Ali-Baba” by many of his opposing counselors. Famously representing Haneed Abluhmper, a man suing fast food giant Wendy’s for offering him a “Baconator” sandwich, the lawyer walked away with a very high-profile win. Many people are speculating that Speaker Nancy Pelosi will attempt to hire him for her impeachment legal team.
Trump also failed with his attempt to order money earmarked for the military transferred to fund his cartoonish border wall, with the court finding that to be the job of Congress, because it is a job of Congress’s. Along with those blows, he also has been ordered to remain at least 500 feet from Vice President Mike Pence, who alleges that the Commander in Chief likes to whisper filthy phrases in his ear in public like : “Your mouth reminds me of a hole in a watermelon”, and “Does baby Boo Boo want to give uncle Yogi what’s in his pic-a-nic basket?”
Although Trump’s legal team is expected to appeal the ruling, between Trey Gowdy and Rudy Giuliani, most believe he might as well be represented by two shrieking Chiba monkeys lobbing shitgrenades. With 2020 looming, one might ask : “Has Donald Trump tired of ‘winning’ too soon?”