National Police Organization Praises Trump’s Response to the George Floyd Protests

One of the largest police organizations in the country is praising the way President Trump has handled the George Floyd protests. The Cops Union National Trust Society says that when the going gets tough, the tough lay waste to protests. According to their chief spokesman, Art Tubolls, the union won’t back down from the dangers of riots:

“We represent more than 5000 rural counties across the south. We don’t need no thugs coming into our towns with no signs. We’re peaceful, rural folks just looking to live our lives. We will meet any protests with excessive force, just as our president has suggested.”

So far, none of the counties listed in the union’s directory have had any protests, since they’re predominantly under-educated caucasian people with little exposure to the real world. That doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to stand up for their beliefs or that they don’t cherish the 1st Amendment. According to Mayor Joe Barron of Cimpelphuc, Georgia, the residents of his town and their police are all American heroes:

“Just last month, more than 70 percent of our people grabbed their long guns and headed off to protest the economy being shut down. We might not cotton to these here B:M Antifa things, but we go out when it counts.”

The Cimpelphuc police and the local militia have been standing side-by-side since this crisis began, guarding both the local food store and the gas station. According to their counterparts in Delushunton, the next county over, there have been no attempts on the hardware store, but someone did try to firebomb the Post Office. That was probably another patriot, however, looking to stop ballot fraud.

Barron said the county did see a few people head off to the Floyd protests. They were mostly younger men wearing Oakley blades and Hawaiian shirts. Surely they were headed into town to keep the peaceful protesters safe.

The Union says they are spending their entire $5200 budget for 2020 to help get our President re-elected. God bless you, officers. God bless you.

About Flagg Eagleton 78 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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