Report: ‘Socialist’ Bernie Sanders Took Money From Drug Makers, Rapists, and Monsters

A disturbing report issued by the FEC sheds some light on the campaign strategies of one Bernie Sanders. According to our research, Sanders has managed to keep “dark money,” a thing Democrats made up to make corporate donations sound evil, by taking it from the individuals who run those evil companies rather than the companies themselves.

In this graphic, taken from the official FEC website, you can clearly see who donates to Sanders:

If you look closely, you’ll see that Bernie’s top donor that month was none other than “Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli, who went to jail for fraud and corruption. Just below him is accused rapist, Harvey Weinstein, a hero to the liberals on his way to a prison sentence of his own.

Other notable names include the Scoleri Brothers, who pulled off supernatural hijinks in New York, and a few “people” without real names, like R/Cumtown and the N-Word.

You’ll also see that “Donald J. Trump” is listed, but you can be sure it’s not President Trump. According to public records that may or may not be completely accurate, there are 11 Donald J. Trumps currently residing in New York.

Joseph Kony of the Lord’s Resistance Movement, a terrorist organization out of Uganda, and Joseph Goebbels, the grandson of the Nazi murderer of the same name out of Germany, top the list of pond scum the socialists have enticed from other countries. We’re not even sure people from Africa are allowed to donate. People from Germany can, as it’s a reciprocal political donation country since they agreed to stop being assholes.

None of this bodes well for America if he wins, Patriots. So make sure you get out there on Democrat primary day and vote for whoever is still on the ballot running against him. Unless it’s Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Mike Bloomberg, Tom Steyer, or Pete Buttigieg. According to our sources in the White House, Trump is backing Tulsi Gabbard to run against him. For some reason.

It’s a good thing this madness was exposed, patriots. We’d be in a world of trouble if Sanders actually managed to get on the general election ballot.

About Flagg Eagleton 45 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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