Biden Shifts Pipeline Funding to ‘New’ Solyndra

You might remember hearing about the mess that was “Solyndra” during the Obama years. Snapping up government funding of nearly 500 million dollars and subsequently going bankrupt, the President took a lot of flack from conservative critics who felt the solar panel company was a bad investment.

Well, “reality” isn’t ever a place that the teabagging right ever lived in.  The company was actually an up-and-comer until the price of silicon flatlined, leading rivals to manufacture at cheaper prices, and causing the CEO to inflate the company’s price to mislead investors.  Again, as with all of the right’s made-up “scandals”, the President was at no fault.

Now President Biden is taking the same chance with the fictionally re-organized “Solyndra V2.0”, under new CEO Joe Barron, who has a spotless record of business acumen.  Investing in alternate energy sources still remains the plan for the future, the administration feels, instead of backwards-ass Trumpian nonsense about clean coal (which doesn’t exist), and unnecessary pipelines like the Keystone XL, which potentially could poison huge amounts of American water and brings no benefits with it, whatsoever.

Freshman Republican Senator Marjorie Taylor Greene had some unique “thoughts” about the prospect of solar and alternative energy within hours from inside a tinfoil hut in her back yard.

“Solar energy is far too dangerous.  I’ve researched it on YouTube.  What happens when we soak up all the sun’s rays in a year and it doesn’t have any more?  Joe Biden wants to use up the sun.  What we should be doing is forcing the Jews to make some of their Jew machines.  Like lasers, but with more focus so the beams can shoot into our electrical outlets.  This has all been a secret until now. You know WHO knows the truth.  Don’t make me say it.  One letter.  Comes between P and R.”

Will Biden’s gamble pay off where Obama’s didn’t? We’ll keep you updated on this ridiculous story as it develops.