Pelosi – ‘Trump Has Done Wonders for the Funeral Industry’

DISGUSTING!

If there’s one thing that *President Trump is popularly known for, it’s his flamboyant Twitter habit.  Sometimes insulting, often incendiary, at times, dementia-filled and illegible, Americas heavyweight hefty always seems to have something to say.  It’s looking like now, not to be outdone, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has decided to join in the fun.

This last week, Pelosi went on what’s come to be known as a “Tweetstorm” in the modern vernacular, posting no fewer than thirty missives, nearly all of them directed at the *President and taking potshots at his expense.  More than a few pundits reacted with subdued shock, calling a few of the statements “R-Rated” and complaining that they were unsuitable for reprinting in the news media.

Sandy Batt, Pelosi’s personal Twitter assistant, says that the Speaker had been celebrating at a family party, and had been drinking quite a bit for most of the week, possibly leading to the cyber-outbursts.  Attempts were made to contact her office, but inquiries were answered with a blunt statement describing the lawmaker as : “Chillin’ akin to a villain.”

“Yeah, like that beluga bumbledick passed an intelligence test. He can’t write his name without flashcards.”

Some aren’t too upset about the Speaker’s tantrum.  Donations to the DNC spiked by 188% after the blasting of the morbidly obese failed leader, which is sure to translate into much needed help for Democratic races down the ticket.  As far as fundraising goes, much of the party will no doubt be encouraging Pelosi to continue with her rants.

So far, there has been no official response from the White House to the internet shellacquing, but sources close to the oval office say that America’s most illiterate and borderline medically-simple commander in chief was noted throwing his phone at an aide and marching off to his bunker to cry for more than four hours straight.  It seems that sometimes a frail ego will shatter when a grandmothers high heel slams down on it’s nuts.

*impeached

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