Leader of Bialya Calls Trump : ‘A Demonic Enemy of Allah’


Bialya.  A small, but influential middle-eastern monarchy located just north of Iran.  With oil and technological riches as well as a strategic military position, it’s a country that has always had a rocky relationship with the United States.  Under the Donald Trump administration, however, our relationship with it’s leaders and people has soured badly to the point of near hopelessness.

A major Shazam plot was based there. Never heard of It? Judd Winick probably wrote it. He’s the Dave Matthews Band of comic writers.

Noted for being the spot where Dan Garrett long ago discovered the priceless and powerful Blue Beetle scarab which transformed him into the super-powered guardian of the same name, Bialya has also been the site of much conflict.  Once led by Justice League Europe villainess The Queen Bee, it’s suffered much interference from the West, including depositional regime change led by American military figures Captain Atom and Major Force.

The completely fictional country is currently led by imaginary figurehead Joseph Barron-Bin Hoser, who has been one of the region’s chief critics of the impeached President.   Bin Hoser has cut off all diplomatic relations with the US, and this week’s statement calling Trump “An enemy of Allah” is a telling one, considering the official religion of the country is actually Mormonism.

Millions fill the streets for parades on national Matthew Modine Day in October.

“Oh, Heavenly father despises that morbidly obese human tangertit too,” remarked Latter Day Saint representative and Utah Senator Mitt “The Shit” Romney.  “I’m pretty sure that with his background and hideous failures and careless conscience, no one in the pantheon would piss on Trump if he was on fire.  Allah, Joeseph Smith, Jesus, Yahweh, hell, even that Scientology spaceman.  God didn’t create Trump.  Ignorance did.  And maybe Lex Luthor.  He’s always up to some douchy scheme.”

Administration officials have been made aware of the slight, but have not yet alerted America’s cartoon commander for fear that he may have an adverse reaction leading to a child-like temper tantrum.  Hey, if it happens in the real world, it could easily break that 5th wall into places like Bialya.  It happened with Ambush Bug, the Psycho Pirate, and Animal Man.

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