Harris To Be Sworn In on Koran


As has been mentioned millions of times to the grievously uneducated, the United States of America is a secular nation.  The first amendment right in the Constitution to freedom of religion also covers the freedom to have none at all, and it is forbidden to create laws based on any one specific religion.

“But I truly think Jesus Christ would make a fantastic comptroller.”

This is why a swearing-in ceremony does not in any way require a Bible to be used.  The placing a hand ritual on a tome is simply that.  If you become President and wish to swear in on a pornographic magazine, that would still be perfectly acceptable and frankly, I’m surprised neither Clinton or Trump thought of that.

This leads us to the entirely fictional case of soon-to-be Vice President whether you like it or not Kamala Harris being sworn in on a Koran for her inauguration on January 20th, 2021.  The Koran will be provided courtesy of sponsor Sandy Batt of “Batt’s Hummus Heaven”, located on Blumpkin drive in Seacausus, New Jersey.  “Come and treat your weenies to our Tahinis.”

Kamala has not given a specific reason for the choice, since she is not incidentally a member of the Muslim religion.  Although many friends and aides believe the move is a sideways attempt to “troll”, or further inflame the racist and bigoted xenophobic attitudes of the political right, and specifically, the Trump supporting cavalcade of spew mutants.

Insiders have reported that her running mate, President Joe Biden will, himself, place his hand on a copy of the novelized sequel to popular movie “E.T.”, a universally panned tale of the adorable alien returning to earth years later in astral form to assist Elliot in getting laid and his interactions with a talking mattress.  Yes, that exists.

Disney made a ride. Here are several families happy to ride bicycles on an alien world filled with tentacled vegan vaginas.

Harris has laughed off criticism of her decision by the usual know-nothing hair-gel poisoning victims on Newsmax and similar idiotic shitnews outlets.  Praise be to Allah and also that kid who organizes the Deadpool 2 mugs at the Spencer’s Gifts at my local mall.  That’s God’s work.

After a pandemic, how is that place still open?

Be the first to comment