Trump Will Represent Himself At 2nd Sham Impeachment

Former President Donald Trump says he appreciates the outpouring of support from lawyers across the country, but that he’s got the situation well under control.

According to Trump’s post-presidential Chief of Staff, Ivanka Trump, her father is plenty capable of handling the ramblings of a few congressmen over some nonsense conspiracy theories:

“Everyone thinks that just because my father invited them to DC, tweeted for weeks to rile them up, gathered them at the White House for an incendiary rally and sent them to the Capitol to overturn an election, that he was on the side if the rioters.

“Nothing could be further from the truth. When he told them “We love you,” he wasn’t actually loving them; he couldn’t care less. The truth is, they did this thing he told them to do all on their own and they should pay. My daddy should not.”

Ivanka had tears in her eyes during the entire interview.

Democrat Impeachment Managers say they’re thrilled Trump will make an appearance. Rep. Arturo Tubolls (D-Puerto Rico) says they won’t need to do much with Trump in the room:

“This won’t be a campaign rally, and he will have zero authority over anyone in the room. He’s gonna make a fool of himself. And we’re gonna laugh.”

Legal experts expect Trump to shout a lot of unrelated statistics he made up in lieu of actual answers to their questions, which means virtually every time he opens his mouth he’ll be committing the same crime Clinton was impeached over.

You can’t just lie to Congress. Unless you work there.

Get ready for the reality show to begin, folks.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 106 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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