Man Known As Epstein’s Bookkeeper Dead of ‘Suicide’

GEE, I WONDER WHO MIGHT BE INVOLVED?

South Baggersville, Georgia.  Police this evening reported the discovery of a body in a local apartment complex and upon inspection, concluded that it was Phillip McKrevisse, known to federal investigators as the book and records keeper for late trafficking suspect Jeffrey Epstein.  McKrevisse has been sought by authorities for months as he was believed to be holding crucial evidence in the case.

His brother also said he might be holding his rare copy of Styx’s Paradise Theater album with the hologram on side 2.

Crime scene investigators ruled the death an “apparent suicide”, although the body, hanging from a necktie had what witnesses say were “questionable” wounds.  McKrevisse’s chest had what appeared to be a bullet hole in it’s center.  A next-door neighbor also told media outlets that she had heard noises of a scuffle.   In addition, the personal laptop and cell phone belonging to the victim had been completely bleached, a small Marlboro light cigarette butt lay near his shoes stained by women’s lipstick, and a keychain fob of an Presidential seal bearing the initials “HC” was recovered from underneath the couch.  Fingerprint evidence has so far revealed nothing.

Investigators did remove this mysterious machine from the apartment, which experts believe generated chemtrails.

Anyone with information regarding this case should contact Baggersville Police.

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