Joe Biden Bought The Democrat Primary And Everyone Looked The Other Way

Joe Biden looks like he’s going to win the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. It looks like he’s going to get enough votes to beat the communist Bernie Sanders. But…did he earn them? Unfortunately for our democracy, the answer seems to be “no.”

Our source inside the DNC, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity, says that Biden didn’t win because people wanted to vote for him — he won because he paid them to vote for him:

“Biden’s campaign promised everything from a small cash amount to free trips to the massage parlor to entire packs of Klondike bars. Now, his ‘supporters’ say there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for him. The problem is, nobody seems to want to acknowledge that this is going on.”

It’s true. Inside the DNC, there is little to no talk about the current bribery being perpetuated by the Biden campaign. Over at Fox News, they’re trying to expose the scandal, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining any traction. Hannity’s producers decided to pass on the segment, calling it “a ridiculous crock of doody.”

Is it, though? Biden was seen giving one family a new puppy, and a house full of transgender gay lesbians got two stripper poles and a disco ball. How is that not election tampering?

We will continue to investigate this case and report on the free stuff the Biden campaign is giving away. Apparently, if you’re a party regular, you can expect to get a bit of a bump in your assets if you stick with Biden and shun Bernie. While that’s good for the anti-Soviet movement, it’s not great for democracy here at home.

This is how liberty dies, folks. With ice cream treats and cute domestic animals. Socrates was right. We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

About Flagg Eagleton 57 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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