Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thinks she should be proud of being a bartender. She says so all the time. She thinks being a “working class” woman makes her qualified to speak for the people who elected her.
Unfortunately, new revelations from her past are coming back to haunt her this week, as a Brooklyn DA considers charging her with grand larceny for stealing from the very same bar that she says she loved so much. According to Sandy Batt, spokeswoman for the DA’s office, AOC definitely deserves to be punished for her crimes:
“This young woman garnered the trust of her patrons and used them to line her own pockets. We have information that on more than one occasion, she took money directly from the counter and put it in her pocket rather than the register. The bar’s owner also has several other complaints that may require convening a grand jury.”
We’re not totally sure what the other complaints are, but according to regulars at the bar, AOC is anything but “innocent.” Art Tubolls, President of the local Donald Trump and Scott Baio Fan Clubs, told us in an email:
“She’s a scam artist. During the 2016 election cycle, she would serve us Trump supporters happily, never once telling us about her true political aspirations. By our calculations, she’s raised more than $40K fraudulently using these methods of deception.”
The bar’s owner has refused to comment, calling the accusations “petty” and standing by his former employee, who he says only put tips in her pocket, not the bar’s proceeds. We asked around a bit and while it is common for people in New York to tip their bartender, the money usually goes into a common jar to be split at the end of the night.
Our legal analyst, Joe Barron, says AOC’s actions were all part of a sinister plot:
“The tip money directly in her pocket means she probably didn’t claim it on her taxes. As for the fraud involved in pretending you’re a Scott Baio fan, that’s not really a big deal until you take into consideration that she may have used portions of that money to get herself to Washington after being elected. That’s misuse of campaign funds by any conservative standard.“
The question of her citizenship is still up in the air, so there’s a chance that if convicted, she’ll also be deported to Puerto Rico.
Things aren’t looking good for the socialist’s sweetheart.