Surgeon General Kent Nelson Resigns, Calling Trump: ‘An Imbecile’


The Trump administration has lost another soldier in the battle against America’s pandemic crisis today after a savage blowout erupted in the West Wing between the President and his appointed Surgeon General Kent Nelson.  In the past few months, Nelson, who had adopted the nickname “Doctor Fate”, had been a regular critic of the former real-estate developer and convicted con man’s response to the virus.

Unfortunately, Trump U’s medical program’s grads are all currently employed at Arbys.

Flanked by his assistant General Sandra “Zatanna” Batt and CDC Response Head Daniel “Blue Devil” Cassidy, Nelson refused to get into the exact details of his argument with the President, but did confirm that he was 100% certain of the truth behind his remarks, having been informed by his possessed helmet spirit Nabu.  Nelson is a former servant of the Lords of Order who have on occasion, been known to overstep their bounds.  Fellow physician and blind cane-carrying senior hero Charles McNider told media outlets he had witnessed the conflict from his position in a dark corner of the room:

“President Trump was really gone on the adderall that morning and was ranting about getting antibiotics out so his favorite whorehouse would open back up.  Kent had explained to him numerous times that they didn’t work on a virus, and he had a tantrum.  Fate called him a ‘fat, stupid,.murderous imbecile’ and left the room through Kitsian’s Portal of Distancing.  I think he went somewhere in Bosnia to cool off for a few minutes.  Afterwards, he and Nabu told me they were going back to being an obscure Doctor Strange ripoff.”

Before his movie career, Wong was far less heavy and far more racist.

It’s not yet known who will replace the doctor in the Surgeon General’s position, but some contenders, including Sargon the Sorcerer, Dr. Anton Arcane, and diminutive inventor Mr. Thaddeus Mind have turned down the job.  It might be time for President Trump to put all his faith…in a Stranger.

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