Everyone knows how Kamala Harris made her way all the way up to running for Vice President. Women in Washington, especially high-ranking politicians’ wives, have all talked about the harlot among their husbands.
Jill Biden is no different.
In an exclusive interview set to air next week, the former second-lady had this to say about her husband’s pick for VP:
“Look, I’m going to be completely honest here. She makes me nervous. Many people have asked me, ‘Could she seduce Joe?’ And, I tell them, ‘no way!’
But, after the incident Joe had with Michelle Obama, I just don’t know. Maybe she could!”
Sandy Batt, Mrs. Biden’s personal assistant spoke to reporters under the condition of anonymity. She said:
“Look, Ms. Jill worries about it, a lot. I mean, look at Joe. Look how he behaves. Smelling people’s heads. Kissing women and rubbing shoulders. Pair that with Kamala’s nature to, well, you know, and that makes those ‘business dinners’ very concerning!”
Looks like “mother” wasn’t all wrong after all — especially since Joe Biden is no Mike Pence.
Due to these concerns, Jill Biden has decided to make a list of rules for the co-ed executive team to follow. Her first rule is Joe must wear Mitt Romney’s magic underpants.
Everyone knows that those magic underpants will keep the most unpure of thoughts and feelings under wraps. The constant flow of warm milk also helps, lactose intolerance doing what it may.
However, Jill’s silver bullet guarantees she hasn’t a thing to worry about.
She is replacing Kamala’s shampoo with Selsun Blue. One of the first lady’s most unknown responsibilities is ordering all of the goods and products used at the White House and 1 Observatory Circle. She’s already purchased a four-year supply of the googy smelling toiletry.
“Have you ever smelled that stuff? Joe will go in for the sniff, get a sniffer full of rankness and it will be a natural repellent. This tactic is tried and true. I’ll say no more than that.”