AOC Suggests Paying Social Security In Food Stamps


Congress recently held another budget meeting this Tuesday, and as fate would have it, the Democrat’s youngest representitive, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, felt the need to add another one of her brilliant ideas to the mix.  This time, however, the musings of Dora the Socialist Explorer are gaining traction.

There’s also a Dora the Communist Explorer, but it was banned from American television for explicit scenes of vodka swilling.

Reading a pre-planned statement from a graffiti-covered Trapper Keeper, Cortez made the case that simply paying out Social Security in the form of “food stamps”, similar to the kind given out as public assistance, would save over 290 billion dollars a year in tax revenue.  Democrats then had an animated discussion on the topic, and a bill may be ready to enforce it by as early as next week.

Joe Barron of the Homeland Social Security Office admitted that the idea, unlike Paul McCartney’s former girlfriend, may have legs:

“Look, something has to be done about the budget after Trump screwed up and has to try and bail out his crushed economy by borrowing from our grandkid’s tax dollars.  We all know it.  And Social Security has a lot of money.  A bumper crop of Boomers has paid into it for nearly a century.  I say, as long as they can eat, we might as well cut down the debt.  Alexandria is a very smart young woman.   That’s probably why trumptards don’t like her.  They’re allergic to smart.”

If you come into contact with a trumptard who has had a reaction to something smart, immediately flush his or her eyes with water and put on an Ernest movie.

So does the future hold envelopes of colored coupons for the elderly to trade in for their groceries like common street urchins?  I guess if it’s up to AOC, we’ll just have to BRB.

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