Hunter Biden is nowhere to be found. Just as US Attorney John Durham ramped up his investigation into Biden’s dealings with Burisma and Crowdstrike, the former VP’s son just…vanished.
According to sources inside the Justice Department, federal agents were preparing to serve warrants to search the younger Biden’s home, office, vehicle, and private massage parlor and bingo lounge when they got word that there would be nobody to serve them to:
“We found out through our surveillance team that Biden went to bed last night at his home in Virginia, but he never emerged this morning. Our interior cameras and listening devices were disabled around 2 AM without anyone knowing. We suspect that Biden, like many rich Democrats, had a tunnel built under his home to escape undetected for just this purpose.”
The FBI executed the warrants anyway, only to find that Biden’s entire home had been bleached. His office was clean as well, and the bingo lounge was empty and for sale. So…where exactly is Hunter Biden?
Our sources tell us that Biden is most likely headed to Ukraine where he can use his criminal contacts to evade authorities and live out his days in comfort. He reportedly has three mansions in the country and two more in Budapest.
Durham says that while Biden wasn’t restricted from leaving the country, his absence is very telling:
“Only a guilty man would refuse to give statements or allow evidence and testimony against him to be used at his impending trial. It’s despicable. Anyone engaged in this level of coverup is clearly hiding something. We intend to get to the bottom of this.”
The White House hasn’t commented, pointing out that to do so could be construed as a political attack, which could result in more threats of a coup from Pelosi and the Democrats. Good call, President Trump. He could take notes from you, sir, on how to have nothing to hide.