The case against Donald Trump in the Southern District of New York is no more. The lower court that originally said the case should go on has changed their minds and it is now dead in the water.
According to a source familiar with the case in an unofficial manner said that the ruling can be expected any moment now:
“The judge posted on Snap Chat that he intends to dismiss the case unless someone comes up with a good reason for him not to. A few poeple commented that he might not actually be the judge, but that doesn’t seem very relevant if the case is, in fact, being dismissed.”
We researched the case and found that the man who posted the opinion has the same name as one of the judges in the case in New York. He also has the same name as a guy who ran over his girlfriend’s dog last year out of spite, but we couldn’t tell which one was which without further review.
Instead, we called the White House and got the official word from the Director of Information and Propaganda, Art Tubolls:
“We’ve heard great things are coming from the SDNY and while we don’t want to jump the gun, it looks like total and complete exoneration. The prosecutor has stopped calling and demanding the President’s tax returns.”
That may be because the President’s tax returns are no longer in question and must be turned over, according to the Supreme Court, but it could also be because the judge is, in fact, dismissing the case.
Either way, President Trump probably won’t turn them over, because he’d rather use them to own the libs. By keeping his finances and secret ties to Russia a secret, he’s driving them crazy.
Great job, Mr. President. We look forward to whatever comes next.