Clinton Foundation to Distribute All Flu Vaccines in 2020


As charitable foundations go, the Clinton’s operate one of the most successful helping-hand institutions in the world.  While President Trump ran a shady money-laundering business under his name, the Clinton’s carry a charitable fund rating topping even the Red Cross for honesty and integrity.

They even helped curtail Seth Rogan’s Jewfro before it got out of control.

So it’s no wonder that the Clinton’s were chosen from a large field to produce, hold, and distribute next year’s flu vaccine supply to nearly all of the continental United States.  While this seems like a natural fit, conservative senator Lindsey Anne Graham warns of a host of concerns:

“To me, this seems like the perfect chance for the Clintons to pour abortion juice directly into our bodies right through our precious holes.  I bet she’s got all her emails hidden in them walls in pipes and crawlspaces and what not.  My stars, we could all end up getting gayed and walk around singing Cher and Arcade Fire songs.  What a nightmare!”

Graham, seen here for his Saturday night show at the Sideways Clam on Broadway and 22nd.

Well, you’ve been warned.  If you choose to be one of the snot-burbling trumptarded oxi hoarders that believes all the fairy tales the Russians told you about a grandmother, you may want to save up for a great big blanket and some Theraflu next year.

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